Stand up, fight back; #Bullying seems common, but what is it?

Stand up, fight back was the topic of an article appeared in The Hindu of March 5, 2018 (EDGE page 3). Written by Ananthalakshmi Sekhar.

Bullies exist everywhere; nip their advances in the bud says the highlight of this article.

Bullying seems common, but what is it?

It is verbal or physical abuse with aliases being “intimidate”, harass. It is the sadistic feeling of joy one enjoys when victimizing the vulnerable target.

Who is bullied more- men or women? Bullying knows no gender; although women are easy targets, sometimes, men have no escape either.

It happens everywhere.

Reasons for bullying range from bigoted attitudes, poor upbringing, insecurity, aesthetic appeal, employment, earnings and more. Irrespective of the fitting reason behind this vilifying act, not all emerge stronger.

It is so strong that sometimes many have altered their circadian clock to end themselves. So how you handle bullying?

Say no to self-pity. Writer goes on to describe her own experiences and her attempts to overcome all that.

Those suffering bullying, remember, seeking assistance helps. Talk to your close friend or confidante, else to a professional. If bullied, speak out boldly to let your trauma known. Do not despair; with mental strength, you can fight back. Becoming vulnerable victims is not an effective solution.

Article ends there.

Since childhood I had been victim of bullying. Till recently, I did not know how to term that feeling now I know I was being bullied. Earlier in some writing that I have read that was equated as something due to peer pressure.

Since very beginning I started liking to dance. I don’t remember when for the first time I danced. But I do remember one incident when in Ganeshgunj, Lucknow we used to stay at ancestral home with a joint family. One song came on radio, Hawa me udta jai mera lal dupatta malmal ka. I still hear those voices in my ears.  Few people started calling loudly dance kamles dance and started clapping. I remember I was dancing on this song. Whenever this song came on radio I was encouraged to dance. I don’t know if dancing (making movements with music) came to me naturally?

Later as I grew up and started attending school at IITKanpur campus, one sport teacher spotted my talent. He used to encourage me to dance. In physical education period that was known to us as PT period, he would ask me and few others to show their talents. I used to sing and dance. Many times my PT sir praised me and my talent. So I felt special within myself. But on the other side all the class mates, more so all boys started bullying me. They used to comment on me. Few equated me with dancing girls. I was called The nauch girl, randi, tawaif, nachnewali. Few were more kind they called me hizra(eunuch) . Few friends called me a “girl”. All this happened because I used to dance.

In school few songs of mine were very famous. Nazar Lagi raja tore bangle par, inhi logon ne le lina dupatta mora and thare rahiyo banke yaar re from film pakeezah. I started iconizing Meena Kumari ji. Thus boys used to say “Thare Rahio” or “nazar lagi raja”.

I was nick named as gaurayia. It is common name of sparrow.

Later when I reached class VII or so while playing kabaddi, the boys tried to gag me and few tried to see whether I have male sex organs or not? When I went to other side on my turn, few elder boys caught me and pushed me down on ground. I heard them telling to younger boys that I am holding his hands and legs you just see in his pants whether he has that organ etc.

Meanwhile as I was growing up such miss adventures also were growing around me. So much was apprehension inside me, that while going out to buy something from market, if I saw those boys in the street, I had to change my direction. Or I had to stay back and wait for some time till they go away. There was a house of Agn….ri .and Du…e. Most of terrorists used to live those houses. I mean we were so much terrorized due to boys of those house.

Later we shifted to type two and came into high school. Then my classmates grew more mischievous. Few called me Bulbul, “nach meri bulbul paisa milega”. One gang sang “tauba eh matwali chaal”.

I grew up amidst such group of boys. Few boys didn’t take me seriously at all. I mean I didn’t have any say in that group or gathering. But I didn’t left my passion for dance.

Being born in a family that lived within a society, I cannot imagine that my family could have broken norms of society. I still feel that my father was very brave. I can’t imagine how much pressure he would have gone through accepting me and my passion for dance. Many times he voiced his anger and concerns on my habit of dancing. I really feel how great he was. His peer group might have commented or laughed at him while targeting me. He is most courageous man. He never directly stopped me, but few times alerted me.

Had we got some kind of facility of learning dance or music nearby our house, we would have got enrolled and could have learnt many things. It was beyond imagination of our family that a boy travelling few kilometres away from home just to learn dance. Such things were not considered good even in 1970s.

But yes, our family never desist or restricted me or my sisters from taking part in co-curriculum activities in school.

One neighbour with whom we used to leave keys of our house also commented once. We had so much trust on him and his family, as I said we used to leave keys of our house with them. He said “your father will have difficulty in arranging your marriage”. He said this due to the fact that I used to dance and I was famous as “A boy who dance”? Whatever were his thoughts about me, it didn’t really matter to me back then nor today.

Most of my peer group might have had some perceived thoughts about me. One classmate used to take my notebooks to complete his works. Once I went to house to talk to him, as our exams were very near. As I crossed one window, I overheard something, His mother whom I addressed as Aunty (with respect, as we were always taught to address other elders respectfully) she said he is not home. That was the last day I talked to him. Now he lives in USA, his daughters are learning Bharatnatyam. He daily used to comment on me. I have not made him friend on Facebook.

Few others are also living in USA and their daughters are doing dance. But when those girls were in my class they laughed at me. Now they are proud mothers of girls who dance Bharatnatyam.

One Marathi professor was there. He seemed to be on forefront in all cultural activities in campus, mostly classical music. But once I saw he strictly stopped his daughter from taking part in one program on stage. He was class conscious.

When I had to attend Degree College in Kanpur, I had to take bus to go to city. Many boys together went to college. On the way they commented on me. I could do nothing as I was one and alone among all those boys.

When I was student of IIT then also on few occasions I felt such bullying. The only cause was that I used to dance. I loved to dance. There was a group of ladies, they organized cultural activities in campus. I remembered once there was a dance drama “Chitrangada” of RabindraNath Tagore. One day I was asked to take part in dance sequence, there were few more boys. But I was chosen to dance on “Mohini maya elo” and I was told to choreograph few movements for the group. After few rehearsals, suddenly one day i was told that dance sequence will not be staged (or that sequence will not be part of this ballet). I think they tried to rope in my sisters and as a lollipop they might have thought to play this dirty game with me. I am at liberty to apply my mind and my perception to things happened with me.

Thus I imagined, what might have been the cause behind this bullying?


#internet of things? #connectivity #data #dissemination: #RoadDensity

For past few days I am struggling to find out what is the total length of roads in India?

what is revenue area of India?

What is projected population of India in 2017?

Are they easy questions? Particularly when a secretary (an IAS) asks for references, authentic documents?

I tried. But could not get authentic documents.

I wrote to few departments. PWD, Rural Development, Urban local body.

In reply I got the data of their jurisdiction only and all of them said I don’t know about India.

I saw these departments were sending reports to Their Ministries concerned. One engineer from PWD department came to me and said I cannot give data of India. I said since you regularly send data/reports to Ministry of Road thus at least you can ask anyone there on telephone or via email etc. and help me. They denied. But later on print I got from them duly signed. That was print of Wikipedia page on roads in India.

But then I had this demand of IAS back in my mind about authentic document. Thus I thought whether I can presume this wiki document as authentic?

On the page of National Highways Authority of India site, it is mentioned that total length of roads in 33 lakhs km.

While searching through internet I got another link of Statistical Year book of India 2017 brought out by Ministry of Statistics. It has table on different categories of roads.

Table 21.1 I think lists the total and surfaced roads. It has data on highways, pwd roads, urban roads, other rural roads and project roads. But that totals to as total roads-4572144 km and 3157806 km.

But on the page of NHAI it had 33 lakhs km.

Confusion started arising as to which data should I take?

Then there was another set of information on

This page says that as on March 2015 5472144.255 Kms is the total road length in India.

Thus does it can be concluded as to what Wikipedia page lists is correct? As on March 2016 total road length in India is 5603293 Kms. But another point as to how to know state wise breakup of this 5603293 kms??

Due to Pressure amounting on my head I thought to call help from outside of my state? No one was able to help me.

I searched the NHAI site. There I found a word planning Stat & coord. Immediately I called up 011-25093551. Someone talked to me, as I told my story and query? She connected me to someone. I got the reply that I am giving you a number. You contact him. As he is dealing with data. I called on his mobile. XXXXXXX824. The voice on other side said wrong number.

I called up again to earlier number on which that person gave me this new number. The lady PA talked and I confirmed the number of Mr M. She said it is correct number. She gave me another number to dial. 25074110 and said you dial extension numbers to talk to Mr M. I got the line but voice on other side he is not here, and I don’t know when he will come.

Whole of these three days internet connection dead. I could not open a single page. I called the Karnataka Directorate of Economics. They gave me one number of some Smt S. I dialed two times on her mobile. But no one picked up. I called again they gave me land line also. But I sent SMS to that mobile number writing that I am calling to get help on road length of India as data on roads is printed in the statistical book published by Karnataka DES.

Then next I called UP DES Lucknow. There they gave me number of Deputy Director Mr Yadav. I called on his mobile several times but no response. Then I called again to DES line, they gave me land line number. There also for almost whole day I rang but no one picked up. Then I asked DES number 0522-2238969. This was I think fourth call to this number. They gave me pne number of Mr Pandey. I called on that also. Then once again I called the DES number. They told me they may be in meeting you call later. But till 5 in evening I was not able to talk to anyone in UP.

I had another hope in Himachal Pradesh.

Since I had to calculate road density for that I needed projected population also.

In Himachal Pradesh statistical Publication I saw a very good table on population projection. India’s projected population for 2017 was given as 1345276000 in table no 26.13.

I telephoned 0177-2626302, the voice on other side very courteously informed me that I will give you a number you call on that since he is dealing on that subject. While further talking he said you give me your number I will tell any officer to call you. I said thankyou. Later in evening a call came from Himachal Pradesh. He said the population projection were worked out by DES people only based on census 2011 population. I was amazed. Since I wanted to know if any link is available with them of RGI or census they said no.

I had asked local census office twice about such data. Projected population statewise. They said they don’t have projected population of India. RGI has not released so I cannot tell. But whatever you want you write a letter then we will ask from central office. I was shocked initially. Thinking that local census office do not have projected population of India. But that is reality I had to face.

I called Delhi DES. The voice on other side said the officer is not in seat then I said please call any other officer. He said hold on I am calling someone. Second voice said officer is not his seat. I said that I know but I want to know this data? He said he get from transport department. Later on my requesting he said you click to that link on site and you will get whatever you wanted. Then I thought what to say further.

Whole of three days I could not search internet, problem was the speed.

But when I could not get help from NHAI office who else will be able to help me?

I am afraid what I will face next, if I am asked to give authentic document about road density?

so there are issues, of connectivity, Data dissemination, transparency, ease of doing business? feeling connected?

Burgad- Banyan tree pooja? why? Vat Savitri?


बरगद  बरगदाही  वटपूजा Every year my mother used to keep fast on this day that falls in JUNE? this day is dedicated to  Burgad  which is called as vat in Sanskrit. in some parts of India  it is called Vat Savitri Vrat वट् सवित्रि व्रत all married women keep fast and do not take even water till they perform the pooja of Banyan Tree. savitri  This date or तिथि tithi falls in JUNE every years or few days earlier but one thing i found amazing is that,  it is always near to the #World Environment Day. When whole world celebrates the world environment day and on the other hand we don’t remember the Vat Savitri pooja day with same fervor as i found people mentioning world environment day on social media with a # hashtag? WHY?


I know this pooja has been there in our society since ages. I…

View original post 1,191 more words

#Embroidery of #India : V & A #Museum


#embroidery has been part of our conitued Indian civilization, may i add, since Harappa Mohenjedaro on banks of river Sindhu. सिंधुनदी घाटी की सभ्यता.

below is array of items excavated from sites of this old Indian civilization.

30FL_page_90_jpg_1905818gPottery excavated in Rakhigarhi12237_10152676313699846_8123964370109800447_n

images (1)so many types of beads were found, many were polished, to provide lustre, shining etc.  Moreover there was technic to drill in such fine holes so that beads can be tied into a necklace?

Then there are few stutue or human figurine depicting many kinds of fabric, ornaments, jewellery. DOes this not indicate prevalance of fabric or textile making knowledge?


Patterns on this figurine named as priest? since having some kind of decorative piece of garment and the attitude of holding head high? i really dont know why it was namde as priest? But my point is that textile making technology existed in Sindhu Valley and civilization of that time. Harappa, RakhiGarhi, Lothal…

View original post 336 more words