छोटी सी आशा hope opportunities?

What comes to mind on looking at this photo.

This is common sight in many villages in my area. I don’t know about cities.

First thought is about role of women in our soceity. Are women or girls meant for such household activities only that too enclosed within four walls?Often we heard the word stereotype? Are role of women is being stereotyped?When i went to my maternal ancestral village I whitney stimulus witness similar seen seen similar seen daughters of one of my relative don’t go to school. I tried to inquire. But didn’t get any convincing answer. Girls told parents dont allow. But if boys can go to college, then why girls can’t. From outside it looks easy to comment on this situation. Such situations varry from village to villages or type of social culture.I relate once incident of my life. My sister has to go some college in city, she was earlier studying in Kendriya Vidyalaya IITKANPUR. It was late in afternoon she didn’t returned home yet. I began to have high pace of heart beats. When i couldn’t control or bear it further I rushed to get any vehicle at iit gate to go to city. It was almost 14 km. When i was standing at bada chaoraha our iit bus was coming from phoolbagh side. There i saw my sister sitting in bus. Immediately tears started rolling down from each of us i think. When i boarded bus there was nothing to convey verbally. Only tears conveyed. She was asking so many questions. I was too but my sight was little solace for her in comparison to tension she might have undergone mentally. Eve teasing is common phenomena. Even within school or within class students face it. But going school 15 km away from home, sometimes becomes troublesome. This incident was my personal in 1983 or 84 while i was residing in a city like Kanpur.In that village i was talking about was far from main road that connected Hardoi City to sandi. From that road we had to walk through agricultural fields i don’t know how many km. But must be 5 km. One of my mausi residing in that village was teacher in a primary school. She used to walk daily to go to school in that village on road where we used to drop from bus at mainroad. Her brothers too were teachers but in city. I don’t know if there was any middle school nearby. I didn’t hear. But now time changed. There must be high school. But girls had to go higher education. After plus two. Since transpost facility is not proper or upto requirement of the village thus girls are forced to not to attend. Often social norms do force for early marriage of girls as soon they attain age of 17 or 18. Thus thought goes if girls go to school college and something happens how they will be married.Now here comes attitude of males in soceity. Male dominated society? Even women of houses too look for well mannered girls as bride for their boys. Some sort of incident happens in college with girls first thing spreads is the character assassination of that girl. In such cases soceity have double standards. Soceity at large ignore any characterless acts of boys. Boys or men can rape or pass comments or do eve teasing. But when girls reply or does teasing of boys they are labeled as characterless. I remember one incident at Kanpur. Three sister hanged themselves. One TV reporte asked few neighbours about girls. One boy said they were well behaved girls. They always walked with their eyes downward. वे हमेशा आँखें नीची रख कर ही चलती थी। मतलब लडकियों को आंखे निची रखना चाहिए? अगर गली मोहल्ले मे लडकियां आँख उठा कर चलती हैं तो ही वे सभ्य हैं सुशील हैं और लड़के छेड़ छाड़ करते ही रहेंगे।Now this kind of standards are set for behaviour of girls.Many girls living in villages or semi urban area do not have ample opportunities So that they can utilize their talents either in education or in sports. I may be wrong but i will be happy to know that i am wrong. Distance of educational institutions from residence, eve teasing by men, poverty, social pressure, pressure on parents of getting their daughters married are few reasons that girls are not able to come out openly. Often gender bias on issue such as daughters ought to learn basic household works -cooking food, cleaning home, caretaking og domestic animals, often collecting wood for fuel, helping men in tending agricultural fields are all deputed to girls-women. Saying no to sex with husbands is out of their dreams. Taking care of small kids is unwritten law of homes. Pregnancy is another task handled singlehandedly by women. Sometimes talking on contraceptive is a taboo. Even if they wish to take up this issue with their husbands is a taboo. Otherwise they will be labeled or questioned about character? Or virginity? That is another big issue.I have not seen shops in villages(atleast in my area) where women can go buy contraceptives. 30 years back there was one shop in that village now in 2019 i saw few more. But women buying contraceptives is a distant dream. Even many times i too feel embraced to go shop for buying condom. Now a days medicine shops have started employing girls in their shops. I feel ashamed to go to those shops to buy condoms.Such situations force me to think about real problems faced by our women folks in villages.Situation in slums in metro cities is not better too. Poverty is foremost problem for any social reforms.Pad man was a film. But real problem still looms large. But still i can’t say situation is bad in every area. Sanitory napkins are being made available througj schools? If so then good. But as i was telling earlier girls dont attend schools or those who are school dropouts how come they have access to these napkins. Anganwadi Balwadi or gram sevika or ASHAA ANMs etc can play large role. But that requires huge pressure on govt to strengthen infrastructure. Problem is of dedication. There is need of govt worker who can do their jobs with dedication and in full earnest.My DREAM is to have Aganwadi PHC in every village, each and every hamlet must be covered by health educatuon and social welfare schemes.

Advertisements

Rani Jhansi laxmi bai

rani_of_jhansi_1024x102419 नवंबर 1828 को लक्ष्मी बाई रानी झांसी का जन्म बनारस में हुआ था नाम था मणिकर्णिका. इसी नाम पर बनारस में एक घाट भी है. अंग्रेजो के समय after maratha’s defeat  मराठो की हार के बाद  पेशवा को निष्कासित कर के कानपुर के पास बिठूर में रहने को मिल| मणिकर्णिका के पिता का नाम मोरोपंत तांबे था और मराठा बाजीराव क सेवा में थे. बिठूर में पेशवा के साथ में कई मराठी परिवार भी थे.

In school days i got to read this Amar Chitra Katha on Rani Laxmibai of Jhansi.

मनु जोकि मन मणिकर्णिका का उपनाम था क लालन पालन बिठूर में होने लगा छोटी उम्र से ही मनु तेज तरार थी. 4or 5 साल की उंर में उनकी मां का देहांत हो चुका था. इसलिए भी वह थोड़ी चंचल प्रवृत्ति की हो गई थी और नाना साहब पेशवा तथा अन्य बालकों के साथ में कई स्पर्धा में हिस्सा लेती थी. उसी दौरान अंग्रेजो के जुल्म देखने के बाद उनके मन में अन्याय के प्रति बदला लेने की भावना उठी थी. कालांतर में उनका विवाह झांसी के गंगाधर राव से हो गया वहां पर रानी झांसी लक्ष्मी बाई के नाम से प्रसिद्धि पाई. कुछ वर्षों में उनक पुत्र हुआ उसकी बहुत जल्दी  मृत्यु हो गयी. तदोपरांत जैसे कि सभी राज में प्रथा थी पुत्र गोद लिया, नाम रखा इस मौके पर अंग्रेजी शासकों ने पुत्र को उत्तराधिकार मानने से इनकार कर दिया. झांसी राज्य को अंग्रेजी शासन के अंतर्गत निहित करने का षड्यंत्र रचा

 किला बंदी के दौरान रानी झांसी वहां से निकलकर सैनिकों को ले कर

DO-r1HZVoAY5AkM
Statue of Rani Laxmibai of Jhansi at Nana Saheb memorial, Bithoor

और युद्ध कर ग्वालियर पर कब्जा स्थापित  कर लिया था  ग्वालियर में रानी झांसी ने नाना  पेशवा घोषित कर दिया और आगे  दूसरे जगह पर अंग्रेज से युद्ध के लिए आगे बढ़ चली.

अंग्रेजी सेना पीछे करते हुए पहुंच गई और घमासान युद्ध हुआ. अंग्रेज ने तलवार सें सर पर वार किया फिर भी रानी लक्ष्मीबाई ने निडरता पूर्वक उस अंग्रेज अफसर को मार दिया और अपनी सेवकों को बोला कि अंग्रेजों के हाथ मेरा मृत शरीर भी न लगने दिया जाए. सेवक ने पूरा किया इच्छा को

ब्रितानी जनरल ह्यूरोज़ ने टिप्पणी की कि रानी लक्ष्मीबाई अपनी सुन्दरता, चालाकी और दृढ़ता के लिये उल्लेखनीय तो थी ही, विद्रोही नेताओं में सबसे अधिक ख़तरनाक भी थी.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very early I came to know about the name Manu, who later became was Rani Laxmibai of Jhansi. In Kanpur, as a child we used to go to Bithoor, specially at Maharaj Ghat, on the auspicious days such as Khichdi-MakarSankaranti and on Kartik Poornima to have bath in holy river Ganga. Bithoor has a prominent place among the pilgrimage stations. But for me it was a family connection. One of my ancestor(great grand father) who became a Sanyasi, used to live at the Ghat-Maharaj Ghat- said to be built by Peshwa, who was locally referred to as a maharaj? thus the name Maharaj Ghat was attached to this Ghat in Bithoor.  earlier i had written blog on bithoor – splendour of bithoor and another blog on Baji Rao Mastani

Exif_JPEG_420Earlier a diesel loco or train chugged between Kanpur railway station and Bithoor. which was correctly called as Brahmavart (picture at left)

 

 

 

One the way is a station named as Mandhana(pic below) this was a junction. from here the rail track takes a turn towards right and goes upto bithoor. the other rail track leads to Kannauj or Mathura etc. But this rail track runs parallel to the GT Road- Grand Trunk Road. (Mandhana is my in law’s place)

Exif_JPEG_420

Recently a memorial for Nana Saheb peshwa is built in Bithoor

B 3

C-WSM32XUAIuNsL

Strange is this poster depicting the photo of actor who played role of Rani Laxmibai in the TV serial

DGjJl0dV0AEXcE-

stone reads like this about Rani Laxmibai of Jhansi

 

bithoor
Pathar Ghat renovated by the Raja Tikait Rai of Lucknow
1167_main-ghat-at-bithoor
Brahmavart ghat said to be renovated by Peshwa when he lived in Bithoor

220px-Rani_of_Jhansi

Rani Jhansi in Kalighat Painting

 

#Men in #Dhoti; Is it not a #menswear? why #shorts?

images (95)Why men/boys prefer to wear Shorts (pants)? Any reasons?

I was little bit taken aback when i saw most of the young newly married couples coming to the city for honeymoon and wear such cloths which they could never dare to wear back at their homes? Idea is solely to couple-wedding-honeymoon-shoot-mauritius-india-indian-hotel-mauritius-best-photographer-7.jpgcompare Indian Vs West?

 download-12.jpg

images (336) (1)

 

He definitely looks like a casual tourist, wearing casuals as he would say? 20171125_160550-1.jpgbut then he is wearing this short pant just with a presumed perception of being upmarket? belonging to  Nouveau riche group of middle upper class?

There is also a trend among the newly educated lot or high flying group that wearing this type of casual cloths is symbol of status?    

 

 

 

I mean very idea of wearing such types of cloth i don’t like.

When i see women kept fully covered and men standing with them are in shorts? i thought why this discrimination? why these women are burdened to save the honour? of family? izzat? Men can wear any kind of cloths but women are supposed to wear traditional dress only?

dhoti1

I have seen men wearing Pant/jeans shirts (to me it looks as imitating the British Raj?) but women standing with them wear saree (sari)? that is a traditional wear of India?

Why women are not supposed to wear those frocks and gowns, as British ladies wore of that time? Men conveniently copied the shirt and pants? but ladies who are supposed to keep the family honour are never allowed to wear western outfits? This is evident in most of the Indian Marriages.

marr

Indian wedding are famous for splendour of colors, lights, festivities. Clothing is the most important aspect. Everyone seems to be wearing best attire of their collection, (often just to show off, why not such occasions were meant for this purpose only)

while choosing dresses for grooms and brides, people tend to choose traditional dresses for brides, Sari, Lehnga etc. Whereas grooms choose most awkward dress such as coat, pants etc.  It is also a form of gender discrimination.

19ee4d8a3cf400cc1bd49604157191b9--indian-wedding-dresses-wedding-outfits

NJ DC Wedding Photographer | Mohaimen Kazi Photography  indian-wedding-reception-outfits

marvellous-punjabi-bridal-wedding-dresses-61-for-your-red-wedding-dresses-with-punjabi-bridal-wedding-dresses.jpgpic2.jpg

Ideally both groom and bride must wear our traditional dresses. I liked this photograph(below)3860795ca60e8ed1b58457d07afe9497--punjabi-suits-indian-suits

When both man and woman wear that kind of cloths, then only it looks nice. Equal treatment should be given to both gender. Or

south-indian-wedding-dresses.jpg

There should be an opportunity of right of choice. Girls are mentally / culturally pressurized to wear the outfits in garb of custom and culture? most of the time they succumb to that mental or emotional pressure.

As a child i might have seen this photograph(below) somewhere and few others, where a hero wearing a dhoti is hugging the heroine. There was one film produced in association of Russia. In that the actor hugged heroine while wearing Dhoti. That image lingered on me and still is in my mind.

14071 - Siddhartha

More angry i got seeing few images where men wearing couple-wedding-honeymoon-shoot-mauritius-india-indian-hotel-mauritius-best-photographer-7-e1513770257388.jpgjeans/pants but ladies wore half leg dress? that is also not justifiable? But it is matter of choice they say.

 

As i said in most of weddings traditional dresses are given to women and brides. Why families or society has accepted this type of dressing code?

British left but likening or copying dress continues? (most people think English speaking is something to do with status?) even after independence we as a society never discarded British dress mentality.

mahrastrain-bide-and-groom

Does this couple not look beautifull? given that we belong to India?

Keeping up with our traditions and family values they should adopt traditions followed in the family.

Otherwise what they will teach their wards (next generations) about their traditions?

Will they not be blamed for imposing their choices on their wards? some one asked?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Idea here is only to compare Western and Indian dress?couple-wedding-honeymoon-shoot-mauritius-india-indian-hotel-mauritius-best-photographer-4

men221

Why this garment is called Dhoti? wikipedia has something on this subject also. People always search wiki for everything. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhoti Is there anything similar search engine in our India?

I was amazed to see that dhoti is linked to religion?  on this link at oxford dictionary https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/dhoti  it is written as a garment worn by male Hindus ?? no one questioned.  The mention of dhoti as a Hindu dress is totally wrong. dhoti oxford

Similarly another link on Britanica https://www.britannica.com/topic/dhoti says similar thing.

dhoti britanica

I thought the word Loin Cloth is used for Langot? I didn’t know that Dhoti is a long loincloth?  Then down on page it is written that it was called a Paridhana? To me Paridhan means cloths/dress we wear.  So there are lots of confusing information for my ears and eyes on internet.

images (104)Mahatma Gandhi ji wore Dhoti (of course after his return from South Africa and when one of our great leader advised him to travel & see around our real India. He then took to travelling to different parts of India. In the film GANDHI by Richard Attenborough Gandhi ji on river of Ganga at Allahabad saw that girl who was struggling to cover her body and seeing that Gandhi ji left a piece of cloth in running water, it went down stream and that girl caught that cloth. Whole scene is an eye opener. poetically the situation was picturized to depict the pathetic condition and poverty. That lady emoted very well, if you see that scene then only you can understand.

He was of also of the view to discard  foreign cloths. He encouraged self weaving with Charkha. Through that he meant our society should be self sufficient, Self supporting, Self dependent even in cloth making. We know it by name of Khadi. Khadi symbolizes Independence, Self Respect, Self dependence.

I like the idea where men and women have equal opportunity to choose their cloths?

white-bermudas-for-men.jpgjohanneshuebloliviapalermobeaustrollz6io0iznu3rl.jpgd53b05ec7194ee7f052f571a07cb9d20--johannes-huebl-couple-style

Many years back(1989?) i tried to participate in a dress designing competition organised by YSL? I did try few designs for dhoti? in various ways? In 1983 NID the premier institute for Design in Ahmedabad advertised for admissions in design courses for +2 students. Back home i could not dare to apply for admission? thinking/presuming of family reaction?  Back then in age of Black and white Doordarshan, we had TV only for any kind of visual entertainment. News print was main source of information, giving an idea of what is happening in world? so I knew Ritu Kumar, Rohit Bal, Rina Dhaka, there was another Rina i think? a duo designer singh? Later in time i came to know about one designer Rodriguez from Goa. In photo he looked dashing?

In between during 1985 or so i saw and read about Smt Sarbari Dutta?  20dattaThe good thing was that she was designing men’s wear. She had saree(sari) with Kantha also. I was ill-famous for wearing dhoti kurta among my peers. All my classmates and other imitated the western cloths- pant and shirt.  I was ridiculed for wearing dhoti.

I felt sad to see some traces of  Un-acceptableness in eyes of my Father? Because due to me he might have got feedback of different nature from his peer group? After many years, once on an occasion of a wedding of relative his anger came out? I had chosen to wear coat, long full shirt and Dhoti for that wedding. I was the only one in whole crowd wearing that kind of funky outfit??

My father had custom made most expensive triple suit for my wedding?  Most expensive means it was beyond normal expenses our family could bear? But he made it clear I am going to wear that British dress, which I termed as “Gulam-dress” a symbol of slavery? my papa ji always got furious on hearing that. But I got chance to wear my choice of cloths at the time of reception at home. I had bought a Dhoti Kurta from Kolkatta, Of course not from Sarbari’s collection?  But i did make attempts to see few showrooms in Kolkatta, Wedding dress on display in those showrooms were beyond my pocket.

Dhoti is a fantastic wear for men. The term Dhoti is common to both gender. Or a word is there that can be used : UNISEX !!. But the dhoti that men wear is called mardani dhoti. In some community a cloth men wear is called as Lungi, Tahmad.  Below is a glimpse of few versions of Dhoti.

Priest saluting the sun in the Ganges, Varanasi Benares India
priest saluting the sun in the Ganges, Varanasi Benares India

 

Model wearing creation of Sarbari Dutta

02dhoti1.jpg img_6603.jpg

models wearing sarbari’s creations.

02dhoti5.jpgr

_2139ab04-2bf1-11e6-85eb-521f5a9851b5

I don’t know why this image was created? instead of being creative, creator seemed to make joke? or fun. I doubt whether they were serious to bring forward our mens wear.

1b3ca97f59da74b8ce621bae23e33761--pretty-men-beautiful-men there are many versions to tie this cloth called Dhoti.12818963_222051778145519_25854311_n1e952153465024263bb98aee75be0cbf-how-to-wear-different-styles.jpg

festive-kurta-with-dhoti-pants 1-nZ45fQ5-iBXItqDNsJKEsw    3.jpg

8c331616-70c2-49bd-9520-f45c9131804131dhoti-clad-hunks10

In Bollywood or any film attire is chosen as per the role or story requirement. not for promoting any dress. But yes many times style statements are made by the actors but those remain withing the boundaries of characters they played.

idhoti0001p4
Encyclopedia Britanica shows this pic, men wearing Dhoti
Rajasthani Life, India
Indian men wearing traditional clothing and Rajasthani turbans in village of Nimaj, Rajasthan, Northern India

50877634859005530.jpg

Dhoti is so easy to wear, Dhoti is a long unstiched piece of byomkesh-bakshy_145310027.jpgcloth.

People have to tie a knot around waist and drape it. few tricks are required to do the plaits and tuck it back.

 

 

Even wild version is there no requirement of a long cloth. few naughty people tie just a small cloth.

 c463f2b708442f4b3ddfc5db1f99d416chufaylw8aayzmb.jpgcream_dhoti_with_zari_border_kr85cenx85z.jpg dh1   dh2 Lungi is not Dhoti

 dh4dh6dh7dh8dh9dh11dhoti-lrgimg

Our Leaders also had liking for dhoti, that was the Indian dress. No South North divide was there? can you figure out in this picture abe? any difference?

images (3)images (4)images (8)images (7)

Indian-musicians
Men in dhoti: Manipur

kiqplebhibgsi.jpglong-lungiSouth Indian styleMen_1

 

Mahatma Gandhi ji popularised this type of Dhoti.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mendhoti1-1.jpgmm1821.jpg

MylaiTamizhSangam
Leaders, freedom fighters never had problem wearing Dhoti?
Nawalargh, Lloyd 017
i kept this pic for design of Door: tradition and Art

off-white-poly-dupion-readymade-kurta-with-dhoti-g14.jpgtarun-tahiliani-couture-exposition-2013-menswear-couture-6.pngbhopa.jpg

One incident happened with me when i was entering the Red fort in Delhi. I was wearing dhoti kurta which i thought to be a normal dress. But at the entrance gate one guard stopped me and started inquiring.  I said why u stopped me, as i felt bad being singled out in that crowd. I said you stopped me only thinking that i am a poor village person and cant give you reply. Call your officer. Few more guards came then i told them in English, that i am such and such person and i live inside RedFort. I am going home? Can i go? they started talking themselves. I said you should not think so low about dhoti kurta.  People think so low about dhoti kurta. they have their own perception about this Indian dress. perceived notions.

rabari-man-herding-his-cattle-wearing-his-everyday-dress-which-includes-akat5x.jpg

But when i see people in shorts, or pants i think sad, as how our traditional life style had been taken over by the west.  Traditions also had gone extinct.

People in general do not think wearing dhoti as good thing? i mean not many give a thought to wear dhoti? If they see some one wearing dhoti,  immediately their thought process signals that dhoti wearing person is backward? That’s called Gulam Mansikta? Legacy of Raj? Thinking like a slave. We have lost respect for our own traditions.

Earlier on Black and white Doordarshan we used to get glimpses of few fashion icons. Now this internet has come up with vast opportunity to see the world at our own desktop?  it is now called as Palm top or Palm held devices?

11502189227928-sojanya-since-1958-stitched-gold-mens-dhoti-3781502189227679-1_mini.jpg571b5544b4569d8c62152ae724f5dee0-indian-groom-indian-suits.jpgimages-63.jpgaz49Dhoti is so versatile, as is the sari/saree. Indian traditional attire has vast scope. there are regional variations as well.

images (57)2_South_Indian_Dhoti_Style

6281c985647f2f3038f43f4c78e90d6d-sexy-indian-men-indian-suits.jpg4bf6d91c29f67a5d3d42209fb939b0a3--greek-men-male-cosplay   images (62) images (61)

34a420dc35170452fc6fe04b8858e7fa--celtic-pride-men-fashion
can it be called dhoti: but since a one piece cloth tied thus a form of dhoti?

 this is not exactly a dhoti but a small piece of dhoti? but picture is pleasant to look at.

avinash-4.jpg

He is UmaShankar in a TV serial(pic above). But he is wearing a ready made dhoti, stitched for ease. But the picture exudes warmth and sensuous appeal. so I included here. But it tells that nowdays people have forgotten how to wear the dhoti, and thus created this new instant dhoti, ready to wear. Just like fast food or instant noddles? how lifestyle has changed our ways.

b2e4cc4ee39e80656ed74c151698c6b6This is a studio click i think. dhoti in this pic is for special occasions. But in ancient or recent past warriors used to wear such type of dhoti. Often on days when durbar or courts used to held.

4f218234518e8a68adb245bfdc257e5c
Sangeet samrat: Alladiya Khan, Emperor of Music wearing traditional dress, Dhoti
a
Ustad Abdul Karim Khan

Sangeet Samrat most respected doyen of Hindustani Music Alladiya Khan saheb ji in this pic is shown wearing the traditional dress of India. Dhoti and Turban are prominent here. Also on left is great Ustad Abdul Karim Khan saheb wearing a Safa, traditional Turban.

And many more stalwarts great artist of our India always wore Indian dress with much pride and felt Proud.

I don’t know when we will try to love our Indian dress. And stop imitating west?download-9.jpga11.jpgimages (89)download (10)

There are few links available in YouTube on How to wear Dhoti?

I just think of some days when we will start respecting our own traditions.

Stand up, fight back; #Bullying seems common, but what is it?

Stand up, fight back was the topic of an article appeared in The Hindu of March 5, 2018 (EDGE page 3). Written by Ananthalakshmi Sekhar.

Bullies exist everywhere; nip their advances in the bud says the highlight of this article.

Bullying seems common, but what is it?

It is verbal or physical abuse with aliases being “intimidate”, harass. It is the sadistic feeling of joy one enjoys when victimizing the vulnerable target.

Who is bullied more- men or women? Bullying knows no gender; although women are easy targets, sometimes, men have no escape either.

It happens everywhere.

Reasons for bullying range from bigoted attitudes, poor upbringing, insecurity, aesthetic appeal, employment, earnings and more. Irrespective of the fitting reason behind this vilifying act, not all emerge stronger.

It is so strong that sometimes many have altered their circadian clock to end themselves. So how you handle bullying?

Say no to self-pity. Writer goes on to describe her own experiences and her attempts to overcome all that.

Those suffering bullying, remember, seeking assistance helps. Talk to your close friend or confidante, else to a professional. If bullied, speak out boldly to let your trauma known. Do not despair; with mental strength, you can fight back. Becoming vulnerable victims is not an effective solution.

Article ends there.

Since childhood I had been victim of bullying. Till recently, I did not know how to term that feeling now I know I was being bullied. Earlier in some writing that I have read that was equated as something due to peer pressure.

Since very beginning I started liking to dance. I don’t remember when for the first time I danced. But I do remember one incident when in Ganeshgunj, Lucknow we used to stay at ancestral home with a joint family. One song came on radio, Hawa me udta jai mera lal dupatta malmal ka. I still hear those voices in my ears.  Few people started calling loudly dance kamles dance and started clapping. I remember I was dancing on this song. Whenever this song came on radio I was encouraged to dance. I don’t know if dancing (making movements with music) came to me naturally?

Later as I grew up and started attending school at IITKanpur campus, one sport teacher spotted my talent. He used to encourage me to dance. In physical education period that was known to us as PT period, he would ask me and few others to show their talents. I used to sing and dance. Many times my PT sir praised me and my talent. So I felt special within myself. But on the other side all the class mates, more so all boys started bullying me. They used to comment on me. Few equated me with dancing girls. I was called The nauch girl, randi, tawaif, nachnewali. Few were more kind they called me hizra(eunuch) . Few friends called me a “girl”. All this happened because I used to dance.

In school few songs of mine were very famous. Nazar Lagi raja tore bangle par, inhi logon ne le lina dupatta mora and thare rahiyo banke yaar re from film pakeezah. I started iconizing Meena Kumari ji. Thus boys used to say “Thare Rahio” or “nazar lagi raja”.

I was nick named as gaurayia. It is common name of sparrow.

Later when I reached class VII or so while playing kabaddi, the boys tried to gag me and few tried to see whether I have male sex organs or not? When I went to other side on my turn, few elder boys caught me and pushed me down on ground. I heard them telling to younger boys that I am holding his hands and legs you just see in his pants whether he has that organ etc.

Meanwhile as I was growing up such miss adventures also were growing around me. So much was apprehension inside me, that while going out to buy something from market, if I saw those boys in the street, I had to change my direction. Or I had to stay back and wait for some time till they go away. There was a house of Agn….ri .and Du…e. Most of terrorists used to live those houses. I mean we were so much terrorized due to boys of those house.

Later we shifted to type two and came into high school. Then my classmates grew more mischievous. Few called me Bulbul, “nach meri bulbul paisa milega”. One gang sang “tauba eh matwali chaal”.

I grew up amidst such group of boys. Few boys didn’t take me seriously at all. I mean I didn’t have any say in that group or gathering. But I didn’t left my passion for dance.

Being born in a family that lived within a society, I cannot imagine that my family could have broken norms of society. I still feel that my father was very brave. I can’t imagine how much pressure he would have gone through accepting me and my passion for dance. Many times he voiced his anger and concerns on my habit of dancing. I really feel how great he was. His peer group might have commented or laughed at him while targeting me. He is most courageous man. He never directly stopped me, but few times alerted me.

Had we got some kind of facility of learning dance or music nearby our house, we would have got enrolled and could have learnt many things. It was beyond imagination of our family that a boy travelling few kilometres away from home just to learn dance. Such things were not considered good even in 1970s.

But yes, our family never desist or restricted me or my sisters from taking part in co-curriculum activities in school.

One neighbour with whom we used to leave keys of our house also commented once. We had so much trust on him and his family, as I said we used to leave keys of our house with them. He said “your father will have difficulty in arranging your marriage”. He said this due to the fact that I used to dance and I was famous as “A boy who dance”? Whatever were his thoughts about me, it didn’t really matter to me back then nor today.

Most of my peer group might have had some perceived thoughts about me. One classmate used to take my notebooks to complete his works. Once I went to house to talk to him, as our exams were very near. As I crossed one window, I overheard something, His mother whom I addressed as Aunty (with respect, as we were always taught to address other elders respectfully) she said he is not home. That was the last day I talked to him. Now he lives in USA, his daughters are learning Bharatnatyam. He daily used to comment on me. I have not made him friend on Facebook.

Few others are also living in USA and their daughters are doing dance. But when those girls were in my class they laughed at me. Now they are proud mothers of girls who dance Bharatnatyam.

One Marathi professor was there. He seemed to be on forefront in all cultural activities in campus, mostly classical music. But once I saw he strictly stopped his daughter from taking part in one program on stage. He was class conscious.

When I had to attend Degree College in Kanpur, I had to take bus to go to city. Many boys together went to college. On the way they commented on me. I could do nothing as I was one and alone among all those boys.

When I was student of IIT then also on few occasions I felt such bullying. The only cause was that I used to dance. I loved to dance. There was a group of ladies, they organized cultural activities in campus. I remembered once there was a dance drama “Chitrangada” of RabindraNath Tagore. One day I was asked to take part in dance sequence, there were few more boys. But I was chosen to dance on “Mohini maya elo” and I was told to choreograph few movements for the group. After few rehearsals, suddenly one day i was told that dance sequence will not be staged (or that sequence will not be part of this ballet). I think they tried to rope in my sisters and as a lollipop they might have thought to play this dirty game with me. I am at liberty to apply my mind and my perception to things happened with me.

Thus I imagined, what might have been the cause behind this bullying?

#Women are contributor to #Agriculture but not much is highlighted!

As per census 2011
Percentage of Male cultivators to total workers is 24.9. [Rural- 35.2 & Urban-2.7]. Percentage of Female cultivators to total workers is 24 [Rural-28.8 & Urban-3.1].

other wise the work participation ratio of women remains lower than males. But above we find that female cultivators are just at equal percentage approx. but still in rural areas the cultivator percentage of women is recorded lower than males.
WPR female at all India level was 25.5% [rural – 30% and Urban-15.4%] work participation of Males in 53.3% [Rural- 53% and Urban – 53.8%]

so far is good. But any one from village areas can easily tell how much our women folk contribute in daily life in rural areas. From Dawn to Dusk all women in villages work tirelessly towards many activities. Earlier there was no electricity, water sources, roads etc. All works were done manually!! Women had worked shoulder to shoulder along-with men in Agriculture fields. Taboo is that few kinds of activities are considered (presumed) as activity to be done by Women ONLY. So much Gender discrimination was there. Now with advent of machines some kind of works are done easily.

below are few glimpses of our women, who contribute in daily life: See and comment?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Cooking is sole area for women- since dawn to dusk she prepares food
85dfe0aa03391a1555e70cb2dfae4c8e
even weeding or nursery work in agriculture fields
84d34bf4bd2e78bb6c3b3770f100b96d
In Coastal land we see this
98fd89d06edc41ffba019c99e04e1f47
many crafts are in hands of Women
45a0917a6cd6877c22e4ac15e398d0de
Water fetching seems to be duty of women only??
17194e91e83b323ca58d7f25e7976313
Chakki, making food sole duty of Mothers
350cdce2bd023d3796288d298a253dc5 new
going to fields- agriculture labourers, tribal etc 
a90cec5ef6141931f6cf659c3bc2ba14
Eco-friendly crafts-all done by women
461f3bd3a7c55a8a3505ba5e2443765a
Kerala Coir industry- Most are women
5693a7aaaf495182a5e4ec03720919c1
such scenes- always had women

cca74b4587fb35748aa47f10d9423c92

6d8646a47f727702894c27dd48882a00
6d8646a47f727702894c27dd48882a00
6d8646a47f727702894c27dd48882a00

    Selling in Markets is also done by few women too.

ead7e68f74ea57c854193f853735fea9

6d8646a47f727702894c27dd48882a00

selling agriculture produces-women in market

ca7957846b35142ddb57852c0ce703e9
coir & other such works

43f5ebf05e618ee363bbb7508b55d8c63ca99bc78341ac1380142791d96e56901f02fd0d3f7df654b19dee6cc7847599

f835175049cbc878b069c6d0e3fbbc20
cattle rearing done by Women at home itslef

1821e610e0f47ad0b1e3900bb2327036

0b23123e94caa645dd303fc62e3652ec
Drying Chilies- does it not reminds of Film MirchMasala
eafb71d4ed57052ad4a953ac57494244
Water Fetching sole work of Women
ce17e202b015f290898565c9cebaec43
early morning ritual- all by women
963189dd65bf25f7fd05c7d1c9991805
Kutch areas too have women at fore
f5d3b3261c6c4b580c310502bb44237a
husking, splitting grains -done by Women
vat-pornima
Vrat-Fasting-Pooja done only by Women, for long life of Man or Son
5d17e992b0de52c8270352b6f7b8096a
Keeping our Gods happy too done by Women
11933ef0901da318beab4facdb4d4962
fetching from fields
89ddb89f79dd2c9dac16f8989c0fd4bd
women’s market- women accessaries
346a1c32a99f15c96229f67802b64ef2
sewing/ stitching works- All done by Women
70359f26ffe58a2afeb85cd9810a74dd
care of baby, together with marketing All done by women
96552fc902856480a9b976fb49dd5a7a
helping her Man or household

#TreeMother #Saalumarada #Thimmakka #Mother of #Trees

i read article in The Hindu can came to know about her. She is truly a Tree mother. Since she was able to conceive, she and her husband adopted trees and planted saplings in their village. She groomed tree saplings as her adopted children that indicates her devotion. And i think whole village must be knowing that very well. She is sought for her blessings. As she is the mother of #Banyan Trees that indicates her immortalness.  i had written about Burgad Banyan tree earlier click to read.

62saalumaradathimmaka-jpg-image-975-568maxresdefaultimages-5

images-2

images-3

such people should be given highest civilian awards by nation/states. I dont know whether her old age pension or any other type of help is given to her by the state? Such kind of people who do the work without any prejudice must be supported by state or Government. Then to support such persons, eligibility criterion of Govt. schemes should not matter. then only we will think that we are a free independent nation.

Jai tree mother, jai kissan Jai jawan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saalumarada_Thimmakka