In each and every frame here one can find the bright spirit which comes alive the moment you see it. Not only for women’s day but for my respect and remembrance i thought to “google” (as this word has become synonym for search) some of the images of our great star. Thus from those thousands of pic i selected and copied from the pictures available on the net. and pasted here. i wish i can write a small booklet on her. (i will try on net) each frame tells a story thus that story i will imagine and try to write, or express in my way. but for now, the women’s day she is the true symbol to pay respect towards her.
While sleeping i felt something unusual. I tried to figure out, But deep in sleep i could not. I felt a human body beside me and thus clinging to that warm body I slept again. Now i know how it is dangerous to fall fast asleep.
He after applying his liquid kisses on me, tried to take me into his tight embrace. I also put my arms around him. He was so pleased by this that again he gave me his liquid kisses. He uses his toungue to lick my cheeks.Putting his lips on my cheeks, he sucks my cheeks tightly. He then as if assuring me tried to caress all over my head, my body and planted kiss on my forehead.
After that whenever i felt something i would move. He immediately took me into his grip of arms. presented kisses as if saying don’t worry, everything is ok. for assurance i had bounty of his liquid kisses on me. He many times would say “good child”.
I had picked up habit of imitating him. Whatever he did i did try to do same. He used to kiss on my body, forehead, cheeks, neck eyes, i also tried to copy him and tried to cling to him and try to kiss him on his chest and his cheek. When he moved his body towards me then i kissed him. I also imitated him by placing my arms around him.
he was kissing me all over, his chest was on my mouth suddenly his nipples were exactly on my mouth so his nipple came into my mouth and I tried to put lips on them. He liked it. Then he moved towards me and adjusted me so that my mouth be placed towards his chest and that point i put his nipple in my mouth. He liked it. Actually he was trying to adjust himself so that I can do it again on him. He gone mad at that time with lots of groaning moaning sounds, and he madly kissed me again and again. he just ate my cheeks as if he will puncture my cheeks. My cheeks were full of his saliva. he rolled this warm toungue all over my cheeks and face. he sucked cheeks strongly. Whole of my cheeks he pulled by making vacuum inside his mouth.
when i tried to suck his nipple he laughed. i heard him laugh in that darkness. My ears were full of thumping sounds of my heart and his heart. His chest was close to my face. He was taller than me. Then he lifted his leg and put on me as if keeping me under his control. After I slept i didnt know what happened and when he came and when he untied his cloths. But When he put his leg on me then the touch of his skin and flesh told me that he had removed his dhoti (cloths).
While lying he turned half-way towards me placing his leg on me. My hand was between his leg and my body. when he kept his leg on me, my hand touched his thighs. he lifted his leg and adjusted himself so that my hand touch him where both of his leg meet. He pressed his arms around me tightly, he pushed me down and funny thing was that he presented many kisses.
Again while sleeping in this posture suddenly some movements woke me up. my hand found that he had loosened his loin cloth and he was rubbing himself against my body. there it was, a very hard erect thing. He might have also known that i have woken-up so he again encircled me with his strong arms and pulled towards his chest and tried to assure with soft kisses and started licking me. he guided my hand with his hand. he held my hand and placed it around that pulpy tube like organ, he guided my palm to grip it and then he made some movements. By All that he meant as to tell me what to do??
My palm touched that stiff, erect hard thing. what was it? A hard fleshy thing. he guided my hand to do whatever he wanted.
He started moaning. he suddenly took me into his tight grip OF ARMS as if i thought he will break my bones. But he did not forget his liquid kisses. I was made to turn halfway, now i was completely in his grip. He started rubbing vigorously his belly against me. I think he knew that i loved his liquid kisses, thus whenever i tried to stop him, softening his grips he kissed me with his saliva kisses.
Something happened to me. I also put my arms around him. he pressed me close to him. he tightened his arms around me and with more force he thrust his belly on me. After that when i tried to move away he would just soften his arms and when i again start sleeping he would again do something
All few days all this touching thing went on.
that day also he stayed in my house. Strangely i was sleeping, something happened, since by now i had become habitual of this body touching and tight grips. thus thinking that something happening as usual, carelessly i just put my arms also around him and slept.
I felt some pressure, he kissed me. Today he was at my back. I tried to turn but he forcefully stoped me. Strong arms encircled me. He was partly naked. i felt his bare chest at my back. That was a December night. Inside the quilt he had removed his cloths and my kurta also. at my back i was feeling his skin.
when he applied force that time i might have woken up, he then forcefully took me into arms and was thrusting his belly into my back. He had traped me in his arms, he caressed all over my body. he surveyed my back. When he forcefully pressed his belly into my back i was shocked. there he had applied his saliva, at that moment when he thrust his organ into me. When his raw flesh (devil) touched on that spot and when he applied saliva i was blown into pieces. He thrusted his fly and pressed against me. his organ was trying to pierce into me. He was halfway through. with full force I moved a little and came out of bed and failed his attempts.
That night changed me for forever.
This incident brought some of the previous memories to fore, which by the time i had forgotten.
These happened when i was i think 6 or 7 years old.
in one dark night I woke-up due to some unknown sensation growing in my lower part, I found one of my cousin lying beside me. He was much elder to me. he was doing some movements holding me. i felt some wet sensation. he was directing my arm to hold in grip a slippery tube like bulbous structure, he was holding my hand and making my hand to do some to and from movements with speed. After some time some strong smashing jerks felt by my hand. I could not see anything since it was a darkest night, i have ever known. then he took me somewhere to another place. When he placed me on that bed i found there was another naked body (man) was lying, suddenly my skin touched that man’s body, i felt his skin. It was a big body and well built. He took me into his arms, gently. Despite of a tough body he was gentle enough to kiss me several times. This was amazing kiss i ever had. i never had such type of kiss ever before. He adjusted me beside him on his bed. My cousin who took me on that bed went back. This BIG body which was naked, kept his arms around me as if i am a petite little chicken who has to be treated softly. he made me to cling to his body with his strong big arms. Immediately He made my left palm to hold something. It was much more magnificent than my cousin’s organ, hard, bulbous, smooth silky, wet, and erect with warmth. It also had some jerky motion within, only missing thing was that i could not see it. There was complete darkness of night. nothing was visible. He was holding me in arms while offering kisses. Body was wet with sweat. But that thing was much more longer than my palm. While i was guessing what this long thing is? He squeezed me, climbed on me, I felt crushed under his huge body and he was doing all his jumping motion on me, i wanted to run out ..he held me strongly under his body. He was strong built… I tried to run out of the cot..to that he said what happened my child? where are you going?
he was a tenant in my grandmother house. that night my grandmother was not at home. she had gone to attend a pooja at neighbour’s house which usually they do in the NAVRATRI days. Devi Jagran.
Then whenever i felt something unusual thing while sleeping i found my cousin doing something at my front While taking nap in the summer afternoons, he used to come on bed and lay beside me. I was staying alone with grandmother. In afternoons it used to be complete barren time. Everybody would sleep. He wore just a cloth around his waist.so he was completely naked. encircling my body with his hand around me. he wud make my hand to take his organ in grip. and to do some movement over it.
was this not child molestation, where i could have complained, these persons were known to me, trusted persons.
That person who recently did this to me was Elder to me.
He used to stay in our house whenever he used to go city for his job. He always got chance to stay at our house. By touching and praising he made my body accustomed to his TOUCH. then slowly he had graduated on to sneaking into my bed at Nights. Then he made me feel his kisses, liquid and warm kisses, gradually he introduced me to his bare body, his strong arms, He used to encircle me in his tight grip of arms.
Then after wards he made me touch his bare Chest. And i don’t know how he made me to touch his nipples by my mouth and all through this i just tried to imitate all his actions. Gradually he used to lay beside me naked. few nights he just cling me to his bare body thus he made me to like his touch of his body. he then untied his lion cloths and made my hand to touch his private parts. slowly after few days he tried to forcefully press his body against my body. with his arms he pulled me towards his body. Slowly he made my body to start liking his applying force on me….. then found that he started playing with my front and back with his hand. Many times he tried to enter his organ inside me with force but at first i tried to resist and successfully ran out of bed. But gradually he became violent in applying force. But when he found me sleeping and he pushed through his organ at my back and he did apply his saliva so as to make it slippery and just was halfway through. I stoped him and ran out to save myself. But hurt was done.
even after so many years of my life those acts and touch and that piercing act of his after applying saliva all that just dont leave me, they come all over again to me. What i can do?
बरगद बरगदाही वटपूजा Every year my mother used to keep fast on this day that falls in JUNE? this day is dedicated to Burgad which is called as vat in Sanskrit. in some parts of India it is called Vat Savitri Vrat वट् सवित्रि व्रत all married women keep fast and do not take even water till they perform the pooja of Banyan Tree. savitri This date or तिथि tithi falls in JUNE every years or few days earlier but one thing i found amazing is that, it is always near to the #World Environment Day. When whole world celebrates the world environment day and on the other hand we don’t remember the Vat Savitri pooja day with same fervor as i found people mentioning world environment day on social media with a # hashtag? WHY?
I know this pooja has been there in our society since ages. I mean this is performed in India since many centuries. But how come it falls near the day on world environment day? I really don’t know? Why they have kept this day in June as World Environment Day?
बरगद (Bargad) the Banyan tree as world knows, is a symbol of longevity. It never dies. This tree stands forever, often it lasts more than many generations of human. That’s why it is revered as the someone who Divine and lives forever. Thus all women seek blessings from banyan tree for longevity of their husbands and then sons. And only Banyan tree is competent to give such a boon? since itself lives many hundreds of year!!
Here comes the gender discrimination? Mothers seek for others and even for yet to come generation? Yes. Women swallow the bud of shoot or branches. it symbolises as the boon for a better healthy SON? I mean the next generation also is being protected by Mothers(to be). Then another symbol is that mothers or women (married) seek blessings for their life and seek that they live as a “suhagan” सुहागन- a married woman all her life. Silently they seek blessings to die being a married woman. That has connotation of the social stigma attached to the Widow women in the society?
they should remain married till their death? this is the extreme sacrifice of women and mothers.
Mothers wake up early before anyone in family wakes up. Specially Husbands and Sons. Daughters usually help their mothers and follow her.
Mothers prepare themselves so that they take up this ritual being or remaining as “PIOUS”. it is like penance more than anything else for our mothers. They have to fulfill the duties of households also. Mother & Father in-laws, Husband, Brother & sister in-laws, Sons & daughters in that order of priority in any usual family. Mothers prepare food, clean houses, etc. Lucky are those mothers who get help from others and those who leave aside these for time being and perform pooja.
Poori पूरी , 12 balls of wheat flour are cooked and few other sweets. Specially the Gram or some call it as black gram (chick pea) soaked in water or boiled are used. They go to any Banyan tree nearby in their locality . There they perform pooja. Seek blessings from the presiding deity of that day the Banyan Tree, who is evergreen tree that means she lives for infinity? They swallow the tender shoot apex of the tree.
Actually these are not edible as listed in the link (Banyan Tree click and read) see that shoot apex is not edible even then women swallow it? without complaining. that is the height of sacrifice of mothers, who do it for blessings of a good SON? who will support his mother in her old age?
Savitri is known all over India as a Goddess like figure.
It has continued for centuries from generations to generations. Whether anyone is educated or uneducated, but they must be knowing about Savitri. She has brought back her dead husband from the clutches of Yamraj the God of Death. Not many got this chance. She was a brave lady. with her determination, courage, wit, wisdom, persistence debated with the God of Death and then with her wisdom made god of death to return her Husband. It is a very famous story commonly known to all the households, who celebrate this day.
Banyan Tree has been an important part of our village life since centuries. It is needless to emphasise it. But in context of the present times when young generation is forgetting everything which is Indian then it is very important to repeat whatever we know? In age of #social media and when the #hashtag has become a method of making any statement, reading writing our old traditional stories is becoming meaningless? is it? I had written earlier that we have been totally cut off from our roots, as we do not know our own language Sanskrit? Sanskrit a language, Sanskritee, sanskritaah and also History untold, re-told, historians revisiting their works All or most of our treasure was written in Sanskrit. For the past 500 years or so we have been detached from our language Sanskrit. Do you know how many children feel happy while reading Sanskrit in their school. They think it as a burden? But Why? Why this perception has crept up in their mind? I largely put ourselves (Parents) at fault? but then they are also not to be blamed. In schools also the apathy is noticed towards learning of Sanskrit?
The villages used to have a small hermit of trees nearby. What I am saying is that Earlier there was large green cover around villages and all other places. When population started increasing, that resulted in need of land. Most natural and easy way was to cut forest cover? Still there was small patch of forest left untouched in most of the villages. By tradition and belief they were considered Sacred. These small hermit of trees housed many varieties of trees and in return it housed flora and fauna.
Banyan tree like that of Peepal, Neem were always considered as sacred. Now scientifically we know that Peepal tree exhale Oxygen 24 hours? Thus if there are Peepal Trees that means more oxygen around us. Most of the village weekly markets were held in some kind of hermit of trees. Most often big Banyan trees and encircling trees/shrubs offered best place to assemble. I have seen many temples who have these sacred trees in their vicinity.
I have always liked the Banyan Tree which was there in the central place in our IIT Kanpur campus. Every one in IIT knew about that grand Banyan Tree. It was a big tree spread over a large area. Earlier two or three school buses used to stand under it. Students from Armapur and other parts of Kanpur city came by these buses to attend KV IITK. In free period we sometimes used to go to this tree. It housed many ant holes. I have almost learnt many biology lessons under it? strange? But true. It provided shelter to Squirrels, many types of birds, small insects. Few bird Nests were there. worms larvae etc all we could see there. As time changed this big tree together with its encircling patch of ground was enclosed by wire fence.
In many villages still there are few Banyan trees left. I have heard that people out of superstition do not keep Banyan, Peepal trees near to their residences? Why? But it was true that earlier people thought these trees as sacred.
I have not read this book by R K Narayan yet? this picture below right indicates that it is nice place to hold gurukul classes or Dance class or performance? as I dream it must have been there in Kalashetra, as dreamed by Smt Rukmini Devi Arundale in Adyar, Chennai?
There in Adyar also a big Banyan Tree was there, it was of several years old?
Did you know that Bankim Chandra Chaterji wrote “Rajmohan’s wife” in English published in 1864?
With advent of English and English writers on the scene of Indian literary world with the awards such as Booker’s, there has been considerable increase in the number of Best Sellers, that too in English and in India and by Indian Writers. That is the point where trigger of Indian Literature scene has been catapulted. Today there was one hastag #1yearofSOI on twitter trailing or trending. I thought what has happened to our own Indian rich heritage of Sahitya?
Many years back I was waiting with lot of enthusiasm for a telecast on Doordarshan of award ceremony of Smt Mahadevi Verma ji. Iron Lady Mrs Margret Thatcher and Smt Indira Gandhi were there to give away the award. It was most contrasting and most amazing moment in my life. An English PM was there to felicitate a Hindi Writer and that too an Indian. It was in 1982? After that I have searched the photograph of that event I was not able to see it on internet? There were MoortiDevi, Jnanpith awards in all Indian languages, I think English was also included in it. Since that’s why Nayantara Sahgel and Anita Desai got awards for their works in English in India?
With the wining of awards by Arundhati Roy scene changed. Salman Rushdie, Vikram Seth, Jhumpa Lahiri, Kiran Desai also made news. Even as English writers I knew Nayantara Sahgel, Smt Anita Desai. But before that RK Narayan and MulkRaj Anand (purple or untouchable??) and also Ruskin Bond I knew.
Later Chetan Bhagat, Amish Tripathhi, Patnaik, Ira, few other are now Best Sellers?
But I was amazed that the works on SHIVA (and trilogy ?), RAM, Mahabharata, SATI, etc are the topics of best sellers, that too written in English.
Has our rich heritage of literature SAHITYA got set back? Kalidas, Jaidev, PremChand, Dwedi ji, Dinkar, Nirala, Mallikarjun, Renu, Nagar. I admired Krishna Sobti, Shivani ji, qurtulin Hyder, Ismat chugtai (though I read les of her works) Many more… do they have to be written in English to be known? Something has happened to our own languages and Sahitya?
It has to be thought while preparing the EDUCATION POLICY?
AdiBimb- this was a new name for me. I had never heard it. An ad in the Daily Telegram the daily news paper of Andaman Nicobar Islands told me that a program by this name is organised by National School of Drama, New Delhi. I would not have taken note of it, But the the name Ratan Thiyam caught my eye. I started reading the Ad from top to bottom. I read Each and every line, word by word. Such is the importance Shri Ratan Thiyam ji has in my mental space.
Years back when i heard about National School of Drama, few names used to come in front of eye. Nagpal, Tendulkar, Bavkar, Joshi, Kulkarni, Sunila Pradhan, Mohan Agase, L etc they were the actors usually i saw on TV. Then there were Habib Tanvir, Girish Karnad, Leela Naidu, Arundhati Nag, Ranjit kapoor, when Sangeet Natak Akademi gave award to Ratan Thiyam ji i saw it on Black &white doordarshan.
He was Director of National School of drama also. then almost he went to Manipur. Just like a rishi goes to Himayala for tapsaya. he went to Manipur. There he established an academy i think. Later when this Jawaharlal Nehru Academy of Manipur dance was established and i saw a dance ballet based on the story of Manipur deer- loktak ?on doordarshan. Later i came to know that Ratan Thiyam ji has revolutionized the Theatre as such and not only the Manipuri theatre. He has utilized all the Manipuri arts in theatre. I also feel all these arts have deep relations within. Be it a performing arts, visual arts, etc names can be many. But at core all are depending on each other. Thus when a production or a project is presented then all the arts, Visual- light, sound, background, set designing props that comes under stage crafts, Music, Dance and drama, Traditional martial arts which Ratan Thiyam ji has used, Weaving-Textile-Fabric arts while preparing for costumes, make up, then comes the language-it is also very important in portraying the characters, if the language and dialogues are not chosen for a character then the identity, power-potential of certain characters dilutes. In all these aspects Ratan JI have mastery. He has vision of his own.