The #Diva- one & only #SitaraDevi ji #nrityasamragyi; #Queen of #kathak


The moment you see at Sitara Devi ji here in every frame the bright spirit comes alive.

Not only for women’s day but for my respect and remembrance I thought to “google” (as this word has become synonym for search) some of the images of our great star. From those thousands pics I selected and copied few pictures available and pasted here. sitara3

I wish i can write a small booklet on her. (i will try on net) each frame tells a story thus that story I will imagine and try to write  in my way. But for now, on women’s day, she is the true symbol to pay respect towards her (an untirirng spirit of a woman).

I had seen her many programs on Doordarshan all black and white broadcast from Lucknow Doordarshan Kendra during 1980s. I wish all are available in doordarshan archives? Similar programs of GopiKrishna were also telecasted.

I am not the only one who is in awe of her. The famous Dance critic writer Sunil Kothari said about her “Sitara was exceptionally talented. Full of energy and infectious spirit, her dance cast a spell on audiences, not for the nazakat (delicacy) and khubsoorti (beauty) the Lucknow gharana was known for, but for her electrifying Kathak. Sitara’s endearing way of speaking to the audience, be it in Motihari village in Bihar, or Carnegie Hall in New York, won her the affection of connoisseurs and lay people. She was a law unto herself.?       These words sumup abou ther in little.

The moment Sitara Devi ji used to come up on stage She used to electrify whole of stage.

Although SitaraDevi ji hailed from “Kathak family” and a Brahmin family, where it was a social stigma on dancing by girls of such families. But due to encouragement from her Father and guru Pt Sukhdev Maharaj she got opportunity to learn Kathak Dance from her elder sisters Tara ji, who was mother of Nritya Samrat GopiKrishna ji. Another elder sister was Alakhnanda ji who was also a famous kathak performer of her time. I think she died nearly in 1984 ??? i dont remember exact year. But when I went to BHU to appear in an examination there i had read a newsitem in a news paper that Alakhnanda ji was seriously ill and ailing in a hospital. Since I had gone to BHU to appear in an examination and i could imagine how my parents and relatives could have reacted had I requested them to take me to that hospital just to see Alakhnanda ji?? that is situation in our society. Then imagine what hardship these ladies, these legendry stars, had to face during their childhood in 1920s or 1930s?


Eldest sister of SitaraDevi ji Smt Alaknanda Devi ji
Sitara Devi ji was a permanent star attendance at most famous Holi Dhamal of RK Studio,.

pic 1


Has anyone thought that a LP record of a classical dancerimages (4) will be brought out in those times? HMV might have thought of her popularity among people of India for her singing and dancing capabilities.

Sitara Ji always loved the brighter side of life, i think that shows her postive attitude towards life. the zeal to live life to its fullest.sit1  sit6sit7

sit10Dilip saheb considered as her sister? She was married to the husband of his sister, thus by our indian traditions She was his sister? we had great traditions in India. Till recently Sitara ji visited Dilip Kumar saheb ji on Rakhsabandhan, to tie Rakhi.

Sitara ji married at her own terms. Sitara Devi was married to Nazir Ahmed Khan then to K. Asif and then to Pratap Barot. K Asif was brother of wife of Nazir Ahmed Khan.

sit11sit15SITARA1sitara3 (1)sitara7

In this age Dr Sitara Devi ji came up on stage and people sought her blessings, at Sur Singar Sansad. Here daughter of Sitara Devi Ji Smt JayantiMala presented her dance. After Sitara Devi ji and Gopi Krishna ji there is no one who can bear the Torch of Banaras Gharana of Kathak. I mean that charm and majesty which these star dancers carried will be missed.

queen of kathak   pic old   sitara 13

Each and every frame depicts her as lively persona

sitara9 sitara12.sitara8in filmssitara10sitara15

sitara4 sitara-devitwo pics



This particular image is enough to describe her untiring spirit and ever ready to dance. She was on wheel chair and still performed on stage at a function organised in memory of women empowerment !!! is it not a symbol of untiring spirit.



CHILD ABUSE at home : Child sexual abuse, what can we call it?

While sleeping i felt something unusual, But deep in sleep i could not figure it out. I felt a human body beside me. Thus clinging to that warm body I slept again. Now i know how it is dangerous to fall asleep.

He after applying his liquid kisses on me, tried to take me into his tight embrace. I also put my arms around him. He was so pleased by this that again he gave me his liquid kisses. He uses his tongue to lick my cheeks. Putting his lips on my cheeks, he sucks my cheeks tightly. He then as if assuring me tried to caress all over my head, my body and planted kiss on my forehead.

After that whenever i felt something i would move. He immediately took me into his grip of arms. Presented kisses as if, saying don’t worry, everything is ok. For assurance i had bounty of his liquid kisses on me. He many times would say “good child”.

I had picked up habit of imitating him. Whatever he did i did try to do same. He used to kiss on my forehead, cheeks, neck, eyes. i also tried to cling to him and try to kiss him on his chest and his cheeks. When he moved his body towards me then i kissed him. I also imitated him by placing my arms around him.

he was kissing me all over. His chest was over my mouth suddenly his nipples were touching  my mouth I tried to put lips on them. He liked it. he then moved close towards me and adjusted me so that my mouth be placed on his chest, So that my lips touch his nipples. As soon as his nipples came in contact if my lips I tried to firm up my lips as if I tried to kiss. He liked it. Actually he was trying to adjust himself so that I can do it again on him. He gone mad at that time with lots of groaning moaning sounds. He madly kissed me again and again. He just ate my cheeks as if he will puncture my cheeks. My cheeks were full of his saliva. He rolled his warm tongue all over my cheeks. He sucked cheeks strongly. Whole of my cheeks he pulled just like making vacuum inside his mouth.

When i tried to suck his nipple he laughed. I heard him laugh in that darkness. My ears were full of thumping sounds of my heart and his heart. His chest was so close to my face. He was taller and huge well built guy.

Then he placed his leg on me as if keeping me under his control. After I slept i didn’t know what happened? when he came? when he untied his cloths?. But when he placed his leg on me then the touch of his skin indicated that is without cloths.

When he placed his leg on me, my hand touched his thighs. he lifted his leg and adjusted himself so that my hand touch him where both of his leg meet. He pressed his arms around me tightly, he pushed me down and funny thing was that he presented many kisses.

Again while sleeping in this posture suddenly some movements woke me up. my hand found that he had loosened his loin cloth and he was rubbing himself against my body. there it was, a very hard erect thing. He might have also known that i have woken-up so he again encircled me with his strong arms and pulled towards his chest and tried to assure with soft kisses and started licking me. he guided my hand with his hand and placed it around that pulpy tube like organ. he guided my palm to grip it and make movements. By All that he meant as to tell me what to do??

My palm touched that stiff, erect hard thing. what was it? A hard fleshy thing. He started moaning. suddenly he took me into his tight grip OF ARMS as if i thought he will break my bones. But he did not forget his liquid kisses. I was made to turn halfway, now i was completely in his grip. He started rubbing vigorously his belly against me. I think he knew that i loved his liquid kisses, thus whenever i tried to stop him, softening his grips he kissed on me with his saliva kisses.

As he tightened his arms around me, he thrust his belly on me with more force. After that when i tried to move he would just soften his arms. when i again start sleeping he would again do something.  All few days all this touching thing went on.

That day also he stayed in my house. Strangely i was sleeping, something happened, since by now i had become habitual of this body touching and tight grips. thus thinking that something happening as usual, carelessly i just put my arms also around him and slept.

I felt some pressure, he kissed me. He was partly naked. i felt his bare chest at my back.

when he applied force that time i might have woken up, he then forcefully took me into arms and was thrusting his belly into my back.  He had trapped me in his arms so i could not move freely, he caressed all over my body. he surveyed my back. When he forcefully pressed his belly into my back i was shocked. there he had applied his saliva, at that moment when he thrust his organ into me and When his raw flesh (devil) touched on that spot i was blown into pieces. He thrust his fly. his organ was trying to pierce into me. He was halfway through. At that moment With full force I moved a little and came out of bed and failed his attempts.

That night changed me for forever.

This incident brought some of the previous memories to fore, which i had forgotten.

These happened when i was i think 6 or 7 years old.

one dark night I woke-up due to some unknown sensation in my lower part, I found one of my cousin lying beside me. He was much elder to me. he was doing some movements holding me.  he guided my arm to hold in grip a slippery tube like bulbous structure. Holding my hand he made to do some to and fro movements with speed. After some time some strong smashing jerks felt by my hand. I could not see anything since it was a darkest night, i have ever known.

then he lifted and took me somewhere to another place. When he placed me on that bed i found there was another a naked body.  i felt his skin.  It was a big body and well built. He took me into his arms, gently. Despite of a tough body he was gentle enough to kiss me several times. This was amazing and strange kiss i ever had. i never had such type of kiss ever before.

He adjusted me beside him on his bed. My cousin who brought me on that bed went back. This naked BIG body kept his arms around me as if i am a petite little chicken who has to be treated softly. he made me to cling to his body with his strong big arms. Immediately He made my left palm to hold something. It was much more magnificent than my cousin’s organ, hard, bulbous, smooth silky, wet, and erect with warmth. It also had some jerky motion within it. Only missing thing was that i could not see it. There was complete darkness of night. nothing was visible. He was holding me in arms while offering kisses. Body was wet with sweat. But that thing was much more longer than my palm. While i was guessing what this long thing is? He squeezed me, climbed on me, I felt crushed under his huge body and he was doing all his jumping motion on me, i wanted to run out. he held me strongly under his body. He was strong built… I tried to run out of the cot.   to that he said what happened my child? where are you going?

he was a tenant in my grandmother’s house. That night my grandmother was not at home. she had gone to attend a pooja at neighbour’s house which usually they do in the NAVRATRI days. Devi Jagran.

Then whenever i felt something unusual thing while sleeping i found my cousin doing something at my front. While taking nap in summer afternoons, he used to come on bed and lay beside me. I was staying alone with grandmother during summer holidays. In afternoons time, Everybody would sleep. He wore just a cloth around his waist. so he was completely naked. encircling my body with his hand around me. he would make my hand to take his organ in grip and to do some movement over it.

Was this not child molestation?  where i could have complained? these persons were known to me, trusted persons.

That person who recently did this to me was much Elder to me.

He used to stay in our house whenever he used to go city for his job. He always got chance to stay at our house. By touching and praising he made my body accustomed to his TOUCH. then slowly he had graduated on to sneaking into my bed at Nights. Then he made me feel his kisses, liquid and warm kisses, gradually he introduced me to his bare body, his strong arms, He used to encircle me in his tight grip of arms.

Then after wards he made me touch his bare Chest. And i don’t know how he made me to touch his nipples? all through this i just tried to imitate all his actions. Gradually he used to lay beside me naked. few nights he just cling me to his bare body thus he made me to like his touch of his body. he then untied his loin cloths and made my hand to touch his private parts. slowly after few days he tried to forcefully press his body against my body. Slowly he made my body to start liking his applying force on me….. then found that he started playing with my front and back with his hand. Many times he tried to enter his organ inside me with force but at first i tried to resist and successfully ran out of bed. But gradually he became violent in applying force. But when he found me sleeping and he pushed through his organ at my back and he did apply his saliva so as to make it slippery. I stoped him and ran out to save myself. But hurt was done.

Even after so many years of my life those acts and touch and that piercing act,  all that just dont leave me, they come all over again to me. What I can do?

#Men in #Dhoti; Is it not a #menswear? why #shorts?

images (95)Why men/boys prefer to wear Shorts (pants)? Any reasons?

I was little bit taken aback when i saw most of the young newly married couples coming to the city for honeymoon and wear such cloths which they could never dare to wear back at their homes? Idea is solely to couple-wedding-honeymoon-shoot-mauritius-india-indian-hotel-mauritius-best-photographer-7.jpgcompare Indian Vs West?


images (336) (1)


He definitely looks like a casual tourist, wearing casuals as he would say? 20171125_160550-1.jpgbut then he is wearing this short pant just with a presumed perception of being upmarket? belonging to  Nouveau riche group of middle upper class?

There is also a trend among the newly educated lot or high flying group that wearing this type of casual cloths is symbol of status?    




I mean very idea of wearing such types of cloth i don’t like.

When i see women kept fully covered and men standing with them are in shorts? i thought why this discrimination? why these women are burdened to save the honour? of family? izzat? Men can wear any kind of cloths but women are supposed to wear traditional dress only?


I have seen men wearing Pant/jeans shirts (to me it looks as imitating the British Raj?) but women standing with them wear saree (sari)? that is a traditional wear of India?

Why women are not supposed to wear those frocks and gowns, as British ladies wore of that time? Men conveniently copied the shirt and pants? but ladies who are supposed to keep the family honour are never allowed to wear western outfits? This is evident in most of the Indian Marriages.


Indian wedding are famous for splendour of colors, lights, festivities. Clothing is the most important aspect. Everyone seems to be wearing best attire of their collection, (often just to show off, why not such occasions were meant for this purpose only)

while choosing dresses for grooms and brides, people tend to choose traditional dresses for brides, Sari, Lehnga etc. Whereas grooms choose most awkward dress such as coat, pants etc.  It is also a form of gender discrimination.


NJ DC Wedding Photographer | Mohaimen Kazi Photography  indian-wedding-reception-outfits


Ideally both groom and bride must wear our traditional dresses. I liked this photograph(below)3860795ca60e8ed1b58457d07afe9497--punjabi-suits-indian-suits

When both man and woman wear that kind of cloths, then only it looks nice. Equal treatment should be given to both gender. Or


There should be an opportunity of right of choice. Girls are mentally / culturally pressurized to wear the outfits in garb of custom and culture? most of the time they succumb to that mental or emotional pressure.

As a child i might have seen this photograph(below) somewhere and few others, where a hero wearing a dhoti is hugging the heroine. There was one film produced in association of Russia. In that the actor hugged heroine while wearing Dhoti. That image lingered on me and still is in my mind.

14071 - Siddhartha

More angry i got seeing few images where men wearing couple-wedding-honeymoon-shoot-mauritius-india-indian-hotel-mauritius-best-photographer-7-e1513770257388.jpgjeans/pants but ladies wore half leg dress? that is also not justifiable? But it is matter of choice they say.


As i said in most of weddings traditional dresses are given to women and brides. Why families or society has accepted this type of dressing code?

British left but likening or copying dress continues? (most people think English speaking is something to do with status?) even after independence we as a society never discarded British dress mentality.


Does this couple not look beautifull? given that we belong to India?

Keeping up with our traditions and family values they should adopt traditions followed in the family.

Otherwise what they will teach their wards (next generations) about their traditions?

Will they not be blamed for imposing their choices on their wards? some one asked?







Idea here is only to compare Western and Indian dress?couple-wedding-honeymoon-shoot-mauritius-india-indian-hotel-mauritius-best-photographer-4


Why this garment is called Dhoti? wikipedia has something on this subject also. People always search wiki for everything. Is there anything similar search engine in our India?

I was amazed to see that dhoti is linked to religion?  on this link at oxford dictionary  it is written as a garment worn by male Hindus ?? no one questioned.  The mention of dhoti as a Hindu dress is totally wrong. dhoti oxford

Similarly another link on Britanica says similar thing.

dhoti britanica

I thought the word Loin Cloth is used for Langot? I didn’t know that Dhoti is a long loincloth?  Then down on page it is written that it was called a Paridhana? To me Paridhan means cloths/dress we wear.  So there are lots of confusing information for my ears and eyes on internet.

images (104)Mahatma Gandhi ji wore Dhoti (of course after his return from South Africa and when one of our great leader advised him to travel & see around our real India. He then took to travelling to different parts of India. In the film GANDHI by Richard Attenborough Gandhi ji on river of Ganga at Allahabad saw that girl who was struggling to cover her body and seeing that Gandhi ji left a piece of cloth in running water, it went down stream and that girl caught that cloth. Whole scene is an eye opener. poetically the situation was picturized to depict the pathetic condition and poverty. That lady emoted very well, if you see that scene then only you can understand.

He was of also of the view to discard  foreign cloths. He encouraged self weaving with Charkha. Through that he meant our society should be self sufficient, Self supporting, Self dependent even in cloth making. We know it by name of Khadi. Khadi symbolizes Independence, Self Respect, Self dependence.

I like the idea where men and women have equal opportunity to choose their cloths?


Many years back(1989?) i tried to participate in a dress designing competition organised by YSL? I did try few designs for dhoti? in various ways? In 1983 NID the premier institute for Design in Ahmedabad advertised for admissions in design courses for +2 students. Back home i could not dare to apply for admission? thinking/presuming of family reaction?  Back then in age of Black and white Doordarshan, we had TV only for any kind of visual entertainment. News print was main source of information, giving an idea of what is happening in world? so I knew Ritu Kumar, Rohit Bal, Rina Dhaka, there was another Rina i think? a duo designer singh? Later in time i came to know about one designer Rodriguez from Goa. In photo he looked dashing?

In between during 1985 or so i saw and read about Smt Sarbari Dutta?  20dattaThe good thing was that she was designing men’s wear. She had saree(sari) with Kantha also. I was ill-famous for wearing dhoti kurta among my peers. All my classmates and other imitated the western cloths- pant and shirt.  I was ridiculed for wearing dhoti.

I felt sad to see some traces of  Un-acceptableness in eyes of my Father? Because due to me he might have got feedback of different nature from his peer group? After many years, once on an occasion of a wedding of relative his anger came out? I had chosen to wear coat, long full shirt and Dhoti for that wedding. I was the only one in whole crowd wearing that kind of funky outfit??

My father had custom made most expensive triple suit for my wedding?  Most expensive means it was beyond normal expenses our family could bear? But he made it clear I am going to wear that British dress, which I termed as “Gulam-dress” a symbol of slavery? my papa ji always got furious on hearing that. But I got chance to wear my choice of cloths at the time of reception at home. I had bought a Dhoti Kurta from Kolkatta, Of course not from Sarbari’s collection?  But i did make attempts to see few showrooms in Kolkatta, Wedding dress on display in those showrooms were beyond my pocket.

Dhoti is a fantastic wear for men. The term Dhoti is common to both gender. Or a word is there that can be used : UNISEX !!. But the dhoti that men wear is called mardani dhoti. In some community a cloth men wear is called as Lungi, Tahmad.  Below is a glimpse of few versions of Dhoti.

Priest saluting the sun in the Ganges, Varanasi Benares India
priest saluting the sun in the Ganges, Varanasi Benares India


Model wearing creation of Sarbari Dutta

02dhoti1.jpg img_6603.jpg

models wearing sarbari’s creations.



I don’t know why this image was created? instead of being creative, creator seemed to make joke? or fun. I doubt whether they were serious to bring forward our mens wear.

1b3ca97f59da74b8ce621bae23e33761--pretty-men-beautiful-men there are many versions to tie this cloth called Dhoti.12818963_222051778145519_25854311_n1e952153465024263bb98aee75be0cbf-how-to-wear-different-styles.jpg

festive-kurta-with-dhoti-pants 1-nZ45fQ5-iBXItqDNsJKEsw    3.jpg


In Bollywood or any film attire is chosen as per the role or story requirement. not for promoting any dress. But yes many times style statements are made by the actors but those remain withing the boundaries of characters they played.

Encyclopedia Britanica shows this pic, men wearing Dhoti
Rajasthani Life, India
Indian men wearing traditional clothing and Rajasthani turbans in village of Nimaj, Rajasthan, Northern India


Dhoti is so easy to wear, Dhoti is a long unstiched piece of byomkesh-bakshy_145310027.jpgcloth.

People have to tie a knot around waist and drape it. few tricks are required to do the plaits and tuck it back.



Even wild version is there no requirement of a long cloth. few naughty people tie just a small cloth.

 c463f2b708442f4b3ddfc5db1f99d416   1e3b10f29aa5fc078301ca8c1ae5144b--men-swimwear-asian-men

chufaylw8aayzmb.jpg cream_dhoti_with_zari_border_kr85cenx85z.jpg dh1

dh2 Lungi is not Dhoti


Our Leaders also had liking for dhoti, that was the Indian dress. No South North divide was there? can you figure out in this picture abe? any difference?

images (3)images (4)images (8)images (7)



Mahatma Gandhi ji popularised this type of Dhoti.











mendhoti1-1.jpgmm1821.jpgMylaiTamizhSangamNawalargh, Lloyd 017off-white-poly-dupion-readymade-kurta-with-dhoti-g14.jpgtarun-tahiliani-couture-exposition-2013-menswear-couture-6.pngbhopa.jpg

One incident happened with me when i was entering the Red fort in Delhi. I was wearing dhoti kurta which i thought to be a normal dress. But at the entrance gate one guard stopped me and started inquiring.  I said why u stopped me, as i felt bad being singled out in that crowd. I said you stopped me only thinking that i am a poor village person and cant give you reply. Call your officer. Few more guards came then i told them in English, that i am such and such person and i live inside RedFort. I am going home? Can i go? they started talking themselves. I said you should not think so low about dhoti kurta.  People think so low about dhoti kurta. they have their own perception about this Indian dress. perceived notions.


But when i see people in shorts, or pants i think sad, as how our traditional life style had been taken over by the west.  Traditions also had gone extinct.

People in general do not think wearing dhoti as good thing? i mean not many give a thought to wear dhoti? If they see some one wearing dhoti,  immediately their thought process signals that dhoti wearing person is backward? That’s called Gulam Mansikta? Legacy of Raj? Thinking like a slave. We have lost respect for our own traditions.

Earlier on Black and white Doordarshan we used to get glimpses of few fashion icons. Now this internet has come up with vast opportunity to see the world at our own desktop?  it is now called as Palm top or Palm held devices?

11502189227928-sojanya-since-1958-stitched-gold-mens-dhoti-3781502189227679-1_mini.jpg571b5544b4569d8c62152ae724f5dee0-indian-groom-indian-suits.jpgimages-63.jpgaz49Dhoti is so versatile, as is the sari/saree. Indian traditional attire has vast scope. there are regional variations as well.

images (57)2_South_Indian_Dhoti_Styleimages (59)

   6281c985647f2f3038f43f4c78e90d6d-sexy-indian-men-indian-suits.jpg4bf6d91c29f67a5d3d42209fb939b0a3--greek-men-male-cosplay   images (62) images (61)34a420dc35170452fc6fe04b8858e7fa--celtic-pride-men-fashion this is not exactly a dhoti but a small piece of dhoti? but picture is pleasant to look at.

avinash-4.jpgHe is UmaShankar in a TV serial. But he is wearing a ready made dhoti, stitched for ease. But the picture exudes warmth and sensuous appeal. so I included here. But it tells that nowdays people have forgotten how to wear the dhoti, and thus created this new instant dhoti, ready to wear. Just like fast food or instant noddles? how lifestyle has changed our ways.

b2e4cc4ee39e80656ed74c151698c6b6This is a studio click i think. dhoti in this pic is for special occasions. But in ancient or recent past warriors used to wear such type of dhoti. Often on days when durbar or courts used to held.

I don’t know when we will try to love our Indian dress. And stop imitating west?download-9.jpga11.jpgimages (89)download (10)

There are few links available in YouTube on How to wear Dhoti?

I just think of some days when we will start respecting our own traditions.

Stand up, fight back; #Bullying seems common, but what is it?

Stand up, fight back was the topic of an article appeared in The Hindu of March 5, 2018 (EDGE page 3). Written by Ananthalakshmi Sekhar.

Bullies exist everywhere; nip their advances in the bud says the highlight of this article.

Bullying seems common, but what is it?

It is verbal or physical abuse with aliases being “intimidate”, harass. It is the sadistic feeling of joy one enjoys when victimizing the vulnerable target.

Who is bullied more- men or women? Bullying knows no gender; although women are easy targets, sometimes, men have no escape either.

It happens everywhere.

Reasons for bullying range from bigoted attitudes, poor upbringing, insecurity, aesthetic appeal, employment, earnings and more. Irrespective of the fitting reason behind this vilifying act, not all emerge stronger.

It is so strong that sometimes many have altered their circadian clock to end themselves. So how you handle bullying?

Say no to self-pity. Writer goes on to describe her own experiences and her attempts to overcome all that.

Those suffering bullying, remember, seeking assistance helps. Talk to your close friend or confidante, else to a professional. If bullied, speak out boldly to let your trauma known. Do not despair; with mental strength, you can fight back. Becoming vulnerable victims is not an effective solution.

Article ends there.

Since childhood I had been victim of bullying. Till recently, I did not know how to term that feeling now I know I was being bullied. Earlier in some writing that I have read that was equated as something due to peer pressure.

Since very beginning I started liking to dance. I don’t remember when for the first time I danced. But I do remember one incident when in Ganeshgunj, Lucknow we used to stay at ancestral home with a joint family. One song came on radio, Hawa me udta jai mera lal dupatta malmal ka. I still hear those voices in my ears.  Few people started calling loudly dance kamles dance and started clapping. I remember I was dancing on this song. Whenever this song came on radio I was encouraged to dance. I don’t know if dancing (making movements with music) came to me naturally?

Later as I grew up and started attending school at IITKanpur campus, one sport teacher spotted my talent. He used to encourage me to dance. In physical education period that was known to us as PT period, he would ask me and few others to show their talents. I used to sing and dance. Many times my PT sir praised me and my talent. So I felt special within myself. But on the other side all the class mates, more so all boys started bullying me. They used to comment on me. Few equated me with dancing girls. I was called The nauch girl, randi, tawaif, nachnewali. Few were more kind they called me hizra(eunuch) . Few friends called me a “girl”. All this happened because I used to dance.

In school few songs of mine were very famous. Nazar Lagi raja tore bangle par, inhi logon ne le lina dupatta mora and thare rahiyo banke yaar re from film pakeezah. I started iconizing Meena Kumari ji. Thus boys used to say “Thare Rahio” or “nazar lagi raja”.

I was nick named as gaurayia. It is common name of sparrow.

Later when I reached class VII or so while playing kabaddi, the boys tried to gag me and few tried to see whether I have male sex organs or not? When I went to other side on my turn, few elder boys caught me and pushed me down on ground. I heard them telling to younger boys that I am holding his hands and legs you just see in his pants whether he has that organ etc.

Meanwhile as I was growing up such miss adventures also were growing around me. So much was apprehension inside me, that while going out to buy something from market, if I saw those boys in the street, I had to change my direction. Or I had to stay back and wait for some time till they go away. There was a house of Agn….ri .and Du…e. Most of terrorists used to live those houses. I mean we were so much terrorized due to boys of those house.

Later we shifted to type two and came into high school. Then my classmates grew more mischievous. Few called me Bulbul, “nach meri bulbul paisa milega”. One gang sang “tauba eh matwali chaal”.

I grew up amidst such group of boys. Few boys didn’t take me seriously at all. I mean I didn’t have any say in that group or gathering. But I didn’t left my passion for dance.

Being born in a family that lived within a society, I cannot imagine that my family could have broken norms of society. I still feel that my father was very brave. I can’t imagine how much pressure he would have gone through accepting me and my passion for dance. Many times he voiced his anger and concerns on my habit of dancing. I really feel how great he was. His peer group might have commented or laughed at him while targeting me. He is most courageous man. He never directly stopped me, but few times alerted me.

Had we got some kind of facility of learning dance or music nearby our house, we would have got enrolled and could have learnt many things. It was beyond imagination of our family that a boy travelling few kilometres away from home just to learn dance. Such things were not considered good even in 1970s.

But yes, our family never desist or restricted me or my sisters from taking part in co-curriculum activities in school.

One neighbour with whom we used to leave keys of our house also commented once. We had so much trust on him and his family, as I said we used to leave keys of our house with them. He said “your father will have difficulty in arranging your marriage”. He said this due to the fact that I used to dance and I was famous as “A boy who dance”? Whatever were his thoughts about me, it didn’t really matter to me back then nor today.

Most of my peer group might have had some perceived thoughts about me. One classmate used to take my notebooks to complete his works. Once I went to house to talk to him, as our exams were very near. As I crossed one window, I overheard something, His mother whom I addressed as Aunty (with respect, as we were always taught to address other elders respectfully) she said he is not home. That was the last day I talked to him. Now he lives in USA, his daughters are learning Bharatnatyam. He daily used to comment on me. I have not made him friend on Facebook.

Few others are also living in USA and their daughters are doing dance. But when those girls were in my class they laughed at me. Now they are proud mothers of girls who dance Bharatnatyam.

One Marathi professor was there. He seemed to be on forefront in all cultural activities in campus, mostly classical music. But once I saw he strictly stopped his daughter from taking part in one program on stage. He was class conscious.

When I had to attend Degree College in Kanpur, I had to take bus to go to city. Many boys together went to college. On the way they commented on me. I could do nothing as I was one and alone among all those boys.

When I was student of IIT then also on few occasions I felt such bullying. The only cause was that I used to dance. I loved to dance. There was a group of ladies, they organized cultural activities in campus. I remembered once there was a dance drama “Chitrangada” of RabindraNath Tagore. One day I was asked to take part in dance sequence, there were few more boys. But I was chosen to dance on “Mohini maya elo” and I was told to choreograph few movements for the group. After few rehearsals, suddenly one day i was told that dance sequence will not be staged (or that sequence will not be part of this ballet). I think they tried to rope in my sisters and as a lollipop they might have thought to play this dirty game with me. I am at liberty to apply my mind and my perception to things happened with me.

Thus I imagined, what might have been the cause behind this bullying?

#internet of things? #connectivity #data #dissemination: #RoadDensity

For past few days I am struggling to find out what is the total length of roads in India?

what is revenue area of India?

What is projected population of India in 2017?

Are they easy questions? Particularly when a secretary (an IAS) asks for references, authentic documents?

I tried. But could not get authentic documents.

I wrote to few departments. PWD, Rural Development, Urban local body.

In reply I got the data of their jurisdiction only and all of them said I don’t know about India.

I saw these departments were sending reports to Their Ministries concerned. One engineer from PWD department came to me and said I cannot give data of India. I said since you regularly send data/reports to Ministry of Road thus at least you can ask anyone there on telephone or via email etc. and help me. They denied. But later on print I got from them duly signed. That was print of Wikipedia page on roads in India.

But then I had this demand of IAS back in my mind about authentic document. Thus I thought whether I can presume this wiki document as authentic?

On the page of National Highways Authority of India site, it is mentioned that total length of roads in 33 lakhs km.

While searching through internet I got another link of Statistical Year book of India 2017 brought out by Ministry of Statistics. It has table on different categories of roads.

Table 21.1 I think lists the total and surfaced roads. It has data on highways, pwd roads, urban roads, other rural roads and project roads. But that totals to as total roads-4572144 km and 3157806 km.

But on the page of NHAI it had 33 lakhs km.

Confusion started arising as to which data should I take?

Then there was another set of information on

This page says that as on March 2015 5472144.255 Kms is the total road length in India.

Thus does it can be concluded as to what Wikipedia page lists is correct? As on March 2016 total road length in India is 5603293 Kms. But another point as to how to know state wise breakup of this 5603293 kms??

Due to Pressure amounting on my head I thought to call help from outside of my state? No one was able to help me.

I searched the NHAI site. There I found a word planning Stat & coord. Immediately I called up 011-25093551. Someone talked to me, as I told my story and query? She connected me to someone. I got the reply that I am giving you a number. You contact him. As he is dealing with data. I called on his mobile. XXXXXXX824. The voice on other side said wrong number.

I called up again to earlier number on which that person gave me this new number. The lady PA talked and I confirmed the number of Mr M. She said it is correct number. She gave me another number to dial. 25074110 and said you dial extension numbers to talk to Mr M. I got the line but voice on other side he is not here, and I don’t know when he will come.

Whole of these three days internet connection dead. I could not open a single page. I called the Karnataka Directorate of Economics. They gave me one number of some Smt S. I dialed two times on her mobile. But no one picked up. I called again they gave me land line also. But I sent SMS to that mobile number writing that I am calling to get help on road length of India as data on roads is printed in the statistical book published by Karnataka DES.

Then next I called UP DES Lucknow. There they gave me number of Deputy Director Mr Yadav. I called on his mobile several times but no response. Then I called again to DES line, they gave me land line number. There also for almost whole day I rang but no one picked up. Then I asked DES number 0522-2238969. This was I think fourth call to this number. They gave me pne number of Mr Pandey. I called on that also. Then once again I called the DES number. They told me they may be in meeting you call later. But till 5 in evening I was not able to talk to anyone in UP.

I had another hope in Himachal Pradesh.

Since I had to calculate road density for that I needed projected population also.

In Himachal Pradesh statistical Publication I saw a very good table on population projection. India’s projected population for 2017 was given as 1345276000 in table no 26.13.

I telephoned 0177-2626302, the voice on other side very courteously informed me that I will give you a number you call on that since he is dealing on that subject. While further talking he said you give me your number I will tell any officer to call you. I said thankyou. Later in evening a call came from Himachal Pradesh. He said the population projection were worked out by DES people only based on census 2011 population. I was amazed. Since I wanted to know if any link is available with them of RGI or census they said no.

I had asked local census office twice about such data. Projected population statewise. They said they don’t have projected population of India. RGI has not released so I cannot tell. But whatever you want you write a letter then we will ask from central office. I was shocked initially. Thinking that local census office do not have projected population of India. But that is reality I had to face.

I called Delhi DES. The voice on other side said the officer is not in seat then I said please call any other officer. He said hold on I am calling someone. Second voice said officer is not his seat. I said that I know but I want to know this data? He said he get from transport department. Later on my requesting he said you click to that link on site and you will get whatever you wanted. Then I thought what to say further.

Whole of three days I could not search internet, problem was the speed.

But when I could not get help from NHAI office who else will be able to help me?

I am afraid what I will face next, if I am asked to give authentic document about road density?

so there are issues, of connectivity, Data dissemination, transparency, ease of doing business? feeling connected?

Burgad- Banyan tree pooja? why? Vat Savitri?


बरगद  बरगदाही  वटपूजा Every year my mother used to keep fast on this day that falls in JUNE? this day is dedicated to  Burgad  which is called as vat in Sanskrit. in some parts of India  it is called Vat Savitri Vrat वट् सवित्रि व्रत all married women keep fast and do not take even water till they perform the pooja of Banyan Tree. savitri  This date or तिथि tithi falls in JUNE every years or few days earlier but one thing i found amazing is that,  it is always near to the #World Environment Day. When whole world celebrates the world environment day and on the other hand we don’t remember the Vat Savitri pooja day with same fervor as i found people mentioning world environment day on social media with a # hashtag? WHY?


I know this pooja has been there in our society since ages. I…

View original post 1,191 more words

#Embroidery of #India : V & A #Museum


#embroidery has been part of our conitued Indian civilization, may i add, since Harappa Mohenjedaro on banks of river Sindhu. सिंधुनदी घाटी की सभ्यता.

below is array of items excavated from sites of this old Indian civilization.

30FL_page_90_jpg_1905818gPottery excavated in Rakhigarhi12237_10152676313699846_8123964370109800447_n

images (1)so many types of beads were found, many were polished, to provide lustre, shining etc.  Moreover there was technic to drill in such fine holes so that beads can be tied into a necklace?

Then there are few stutue or human figurine depicting many kinds of fabric, ornaments, jewellery. DOes this not indicate prevalance of fabric or textile making knowledge?


Patterns on this figurine named as priest? since having some kind of decorative piece of garment and the attitude of holding head high? i really dont know why it was namde as priest? But my point is that textile making technology existed in Sindhu Valley and civilization of that time. Harappa, RakhiGarhi, Lothal…

View original post 336 more words